anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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