drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
