my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
