I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I could make wine with my vomit
the day after is always just damage control
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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