i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
