Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's blow job season.
Randomize
