I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
