is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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