They should really pass out barf bags in church
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i now understand why vodka
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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