Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize