if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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