Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
