wat bout pragnant strippers??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
