If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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