I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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