I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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