The maid of honor just puked.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
