We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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