she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I intend to get homeless drunk
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
