The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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