porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
