toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
