i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
