I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You pole danced in your parka.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
