Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
whose parrot is this?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
