i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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