I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
