What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
