i just wanna soil my oats bro
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
