I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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