Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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