If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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