if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
