best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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