She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
