someone get that fucking seahorse.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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