Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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