Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
