I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
