Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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