Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
