so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
