Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
