I'm lost and stupid without you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
