paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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