He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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