The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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