I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You pole danced in your parka.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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