Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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