Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
