Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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