I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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