she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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