your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal