A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
