they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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